I've always had a love / hate relationship with my hair. As a result, I wasted thousands of thousands of dollars in the attempt to form an amicable "bond" with it.
Many of times it was a relationship of lust. I lusted for the mornings in which I would not have to spend time in front of the mirror styling my hair. A lustfulness that desired a length, a fullness or a texture that was physically impossible...unless I was re-born...to different parents...of a different race.
Mehh, no thank you! I love my Mum and Dad and being born through them, is just the way I like it.
Honestly speaking though, I sure am thankful that the human mind found a way for such desires to be fulfilled. I sure did dabbled with taped on wigs, lace front wigs, glued on extensions, sew-on extensions, Great Lengths extensions, beauty supply store packaged hair, Custom Blend Adorable Hair, box braids, invisible braids, tree braids, and and and!
I recalled a time in my younger years when my dad took me to a Jewish barber to have my hair cut when we moved to New York in the early 80's.
It was hell.
Dad had zero clue what to do with my hair - and I had less of a clue then he (I was either nine or ten years old). Natural hair was not the thing back in those days so I was taunted and ridiculed for years for not looking like everyone else.
One day, I took matters into my own hands and decided that I would straighten my hair. And that's exactly what I did...with a fork that I placed on the stove burner. That day, I believe is what triggered my hair obsession.
Throughout Beauty School I changed my hair six times during this seven months educational phase. On my graduation day, I booked an appointment for a hair cut, partial highlights and a swirl. I hoped that this would finally become the love of my life. It lasted for about three weeks before I felt the need for yet another change.
Throughout this waxing and waning period, I secretly desired to cut off my hair. I posted pictures of Grace Jones and Ajak Deng on my facebook page with message posts reading "Coming Soon" or "One day I will do this". Friends and family members would comment "...go ahead" and other words of encouragement but I desired for lasting change and not just another "hair band-aid".
I know people change their look often and I encourage people to do what works for them. For me and this spiritual journey that I've been on, my desire is not to do the same things that only provided temporary joy. A temporary joy, that for me and how I wanted to live - seemed superficial and unfulfilling.
Last week, I grabbed my shears and took the plunge, cutting off a HUGE chunk of my hair. This act was the equivalent of jumping into the cold ocean on a hot summer day. With each cut I felt more and more victorious. That same elated feeling I can only equate with the time I was training for my very first ING NYC Marathon and completed my first 15 mile training run. I cried happy tears while yelling "I DID IT! I DID IT" down 110th street hill.
I fell in love with myself all over over again. And this time. it's true love.
I've been way too busy to post.
Yes, that's been a recurring theme for me and this blog but I've decided that I will cease to neglect my dear ole blogger like an unwanted stepchild - for my well behaved and pretty Facebook Page (she's such a darling!).
With that being shared, I will once again attempt to distract you by posting yet another video in hopes to capture your attention with pretty shiny things that glow in dark.
Here's Solange's new video for Lovers In the Parking Lot.